This was a pleasure to do, seriously fun doing this whilst hiding it from office ozzie bevans who might take offence and kill me.
Sausage found a big picture of Iron Chef French Hiroyuki Sakai, a rare find. In fact I’d looked before, ohh..months ago now, but had to satisfy myself (literally) with a picture of Celine Dion. With the goods from Sausage, I went about forming my Iron Chef Australian. There was so much I could do, and so many things I could cram into the photo (I somehow wanted him to be cooking in a kitchen setup whilst the Cronulla riots waged around him, but this was just too stupid and difficult). I opted for simple, but hard hitting.
A search for “Bogan” in google images produced the face you see as our national Iron Chef. I then colorised the uniform to make it blue, then replaced the pear with a plate of fat saturated Fish n’ Chips. I could see just him raising onto the stage every Saturday night with a plate of chips and beer battered carp meat. As for a name, that was easy, I just picked a random first and last name from the work address book and “Kevin Duke” was born.
Iron Chef Australian, Kevin Duke, once dubbed the most prolific deep fryer cook in the whole of Oceania. He mixes traditional ingredients such as tomato sauce and potatoes with new styles of Australian cuisine - meat pies with peas and bread, to create never before seen dishes.
This weekend, a battle like none before will rage, Iron Chef Australian will tackle Iron Chef Mexican, Chep Hernandez, in a never been done before duel. The theme ingredient: Chiko Rolls. Don’t miss it.
This stamp didn’t really require much photoshopping, as it already contained an over-sized dutch speculaas, a little black kid that looks a lot like sausage sizzle did when he was 12, and a bearded priest. This is a rare find indeed. Is the bearded priest offering sausage the cookie in an attempt to convert the little bastard or is the priest wracked with penis-envy even after growing out of his chester kid habits? Sauce doesn’t know, but thanks Brewen for this fabulous find!
The official Saucemaster Postage Stamp®©:
The Saucemaster himself, on this day, second of October, is calling for action. He is calling to all Saucemaster affiliates, retainers and friends, he is calling to all creative and not-so creative talent on usenet and www2… It’s photoshop time - what we need is saucemaster based concept art:
- wordpress themes
- potraiture
- avatars
- caricatures
- surrealist
- minimalist
- cubist
- sexist
- anything…
For themes and inspirational sources:
- Ralph Macchio
- Traditional Zimbawean Dress
- Australianisms
- Bitting Spiders
- Half white/half black kids
- North Korea
- Sausage
- Emu cult ceremony
- Iron Chef Hiroyuki Sakai
- Ultima 6
- Harare
- Everybody Remembers Chester the Child Molester
- Bin Laden
- Goatse Cookies
- Cronulla
- Dutch Spiced Cookies (optional Pubic Hair)
- Fillipinos
- Delicatessen
- Paul Thurrott Is A Total Cunt
- Microsoft Word Raped Me
- Jamaican Teachers
- Bad Noir Film
Entries must be safe for work! but if you really want to use nudity, I guess it’s ok.
Saucemaster retainers can post there entries directly, all others
post to the comments with a URL or send to retroburst_@_gmail.com.
Saucemaster’s personal contribution is as follows, the Sauce himself as Ralph Macchio. He has basically pasted
in his own lips, nose, eyes and eyebrows over Ralph’s and therefore became the pyramid intercept between east, west, black. It’s very deep.
The Saucemaster official avatar:
